Bitterness is the feeling of deep hostility and cynicism toward the actions and motives of other people. It is the internal consequence of anger and unforgiveness toward the painful experiences of our past. When we feel emotionally bitter, we are easily angered and agitated, and our heart posture grows sour over time due to our unwillingness to release the “I must get even” feeling that internal pain longs for.
By embracing the negative influence of bitterness (unforgiveness), the most obvious effect is our mood and relational interactions with other people. I have personally witnessed several signs in the lives of individuals who have accepted a heart posture of bitterness:
They become irritated frequently, triggered by small things that should not bother them.
They take inventory of their close relationships, believing the lie that “Other people don’t understand me or appreciate me for what I do.”
They believe happiness or internal joy will never become their present reality.
When partnering with bitterness, the commanding danger allows it to influence and open the door to the false belief that reconciliation and fellowship are unnecessary. If left unsubmitted to the Lordship of Christ, bitterness (unforgiveness) can develop into anger, rage, resentfulness, and a personality that lacks the full display of the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Further characteristics of bitterness we may experience can be:
Unresolved anger
Victimization
Desire for Revenge
Persistent resentment
Distorted perception of reality
Emotional Isolation and Alienation
Questions to Ask:
Consider the pain and wounding you have experienced in your life. Is it difficult for you to forgive those who have hurt you?
Do you constantly feel anger, frustration, disappointment, and unease about your past pain?
How has bitterness (unforgiveness) affected the quality of your life?
Can you remember anyone else in your life who struggled with bitterness (unforgiveness)?
How did they express this negative emotion during your childhood?
How did bitterness (unforgiveness) affect this person(s)?
Do you have any unmet expectations from the person(s) or circumstances that hurt you?
What would it look like if you could live in a manner that showed deep forgiveness?
Are there any lies you are believing about God’s Word, your identity in Christ, or God’s promises to you that may be influenced by bitterness (unforgiveness)?
Connected Influences: Accusation, blaming, condemnation, critical spirit, gossip, judging, ridicule, slander, complaining.
Scriptural Truth:
“People may cover their hatred with pleasant words, but they’re deceiving you. 25 They pretend to be kind but don’t believe them. Their hearts are full of many evils. 26 While their hatred may be concealed by trickery, their wrongdoing will be exposed in public.” (Proverbs 26:24-26)
“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, 24 leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.” (Matthew 5:23-24)
“Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. 15 Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.” (Hebrews 12:14-15)
“But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. 15 For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. 16 For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.” (James 3:14-16)
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:31-32)
How to Pray for Pray for Breakthrough from Bitterness (Unforgiveness):
You may pray aloud, using each step below:
REALIZE: "Lord, I confess (negative influence) is an area that limits my walk with You. Would You show me the first time I experienced this?"
RELEASE: "Lord, who I need to forgive for influencing this in my life. I choose to forgive (name of person) for (what they did or failed to do). It made me feel (share your emotions with the Lord). I release them from any debt they owe me and repent for judging them. I choose to bless them."
"Lord, do I need to forgive myself for how I responded to this negative influence?”
"Lord, am I holding onto judgment or unmet expectations of You because of this negative influence?"
REPENT & RENOUNCE: "I repent partnering with (negative influence). In the name of Jesus Christ, I renounce my agreement with (negative influence). I choose to hand this to You.”
Lord, I also renounce my agreement with (any connected negative influences).
RECEIVE: "Lord, what do You want to give me in exchange for the negative influence I have given You?"
What truth do You want me to walk in, based on Your Word, Your promises to me, and my identity in Christ?" (Write down and give thanks for the truths that you received from the Lord!)
You can break free from every negative influence present in your life! If you want to go deeper into the spiritual and emotional wholeness that God has for you, check out my book, Encountering Abba’s Heart, or use the purchase link below.
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